When you are attacked on social media for expressing your opinion on a book … The Sunday Post 01/19/2020

Hi friends,

 

This is Sunday, time to talk about my week and link back to our charming hostess Kimberly hosting The Sunday Post @caffeinatedreviewer

In my private life first

First news: I am back at work and it’s been busy, as usual.

I did have a highlight in my work week as I had an extended lunch with my daughter’s godmother who was visiting the town I work in for the day. 

As she is a hard working girl too with lots of responsibilities and kids around the same age as mine, we had a hoot laughing about all our kids and works “problems”. We have a similar way of seeing and doing things, of reacting so it was really great to commiserate together with a grood dosis of humor!

When you see that you are not alone in these kind of problems, you get perspective and it helps going on.

Being a mom, a wife and a working woman I have often found that my girl friends are a tremendous help to “just keep swimming” whatever life throws at you!

Second news: one of my kids (I won’t say he or she) expelled me from IG or rather the account to have an “independent life from us. Something we (parents) can’t see.’

Well even if I can understand the need to grow up and be independent, THAT HURT! Maybe I am petty but in retaliation I cut my ties to our “Facebook family group”. There! Totally juvenile and immature I KNOW but deal with it!

I do everything for these kids and it made me feel like I was in middle grade school an one of my friends excluded me from his inner cricle. Even if he had a right to do it, it pained me.

 

Third news and the reason for today’s title: I have been attacked quite vehemently on my Facebook page yesterday after expressing my honest though unpopular opinion of a book!

I swore an oath when I began blogging (to me and myself) and even earlier, when I began writing my reviews to ALWAYS BE HONEST BUT RESPECTFUL.

Writing a “negative” review or rather a review for a book I did not like is the most difficult exercise because I don’t want to trash the book or the author but I still want to convey my own personal opinion. I think I take great care of doing this.

Yet yesterday’s review generated some very very heated comments on Facebook.

The great news was that 99% of the comments were people grateful for my review. Even if they did like the book or if they were undecided to read it or not. But the 1% who was aggressive did indeed shock me.

I tried to explain and calm things down but soon realized that, of course, it was just amunition and the best tactic was to say nothing back.

It made me also realize that authors must have a very tough skin because they must gather that kind of reaction very often! I’ve been lucky as I blog for three years now and this was the first time it happened to me.

I also saw how my words probably had triggered something deep inside these people. I had unvoluntarily awakened negative emotions and maybe touched old wounds that made them lash to me. For that I was sad.

But the same way authors can’t control their reader’s emotions and reactions, I can’t control “my” reader’s emotions either. Every one of us has a different past and some things that I say might seem perfectly innocuous for the big majority yet seem offending for others for whatever reason. I just have to make peace with this as I don’t plan to stop being honest and respectful. 

Now good news of the week: my dog is getting better! She now walks on her four paws when she is outside or on a not slippery surface! Yes!

 

On the blog this week (click on the graphic to read the post)

I reviewed four books and have read two more books (hopefully reviews published next week but the social media turmoil put a dent in my plan yesterday).

Out of the Easy by Ruta Sepetys was an audiobook (for my #2020AudiobookChallenge). It’s an older book but from my beloved Ruta and I really loved it!!! 4,5 Stars and amazing narration by Lauren Fortgang.

Spark by Aleatha Romig is a mobster romance, first of the trilogy. 4 stars

This is Forever by Natasha Madison is a sportsromance in the hockey world and my first by this author! 4 stars too.

Credence by Penelope Douglas is …controversial and was the review I am talking about above.

.

I told you that I would take it easy this year with blogging and post less because I was a bit overwhelmed but I still love our Top 5 Tuesday even if I put a twist on the topic sometimes like I did this week about the books I planned to read because of you.

 

On the blogosphere and the literary world

A quizz by Epic Read to determine what kind oy decade you’ll have based on your YA Fantasy persona!

TAKE the QUIZ HERE.

And this is my result!

 

Two fellow blogger’s posts to share with you this week!

Katie explains why the second book in a series often ….does not meet our expectations!

https://nevernotreadingblog.wordpress.com/2020/01/16/the-dreaded-second-book-slump/

 

Sophie states all the reasons why she is taking a break from audiobooks

https://sophiexli.com/2020/01/16/why-im-taking-a-break-from-audiobooks/    

Pfew that’s it!

 

Now do tell me, how was your week? Better than mine? Smoother? Or maybe not?

 

Thanks for reading!

Sophie

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76 Replies to “When you are attacked on social media for expressing your opinion on a book … The Sunday Post 01/19/2020”

  1. I’m sorry you were attacked on social media!!! But good for you for not letting this change the fact that you always write truthful reviews!! I love that you are always truthful! Don’t change <3

  2. People suck! Sorry you got such backlash for expressing your opinion.

  3. My kids are on Snapchat because they know I’m not. 🙁 Ah well. I decided a long time ago that I need to follow my mom’s philosophy: You need to let your children grow up and live an independent life. I’m still friends with them on Facebook so there is that. lol

    I’m so sorry you were attacked. People can just be asshats, ya know? {{{hugs}}}

  4. Oh wow, Sophie. I’m sorry to hear that someone was crappy to you and all for expressing an opinion that you’re entitled to have. You carry on expressing your opinion and do it truthfully and in your own way. People that can’t understand that others are allowed to differ in their views over books or get so angry about it need to take a step back and gain some perspective.

  5. Sounds like you had a very interesting week, and these kiddos sure keep us guessing don’t they?!?!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Oh yes Daisy they keep me on my toes!!!

  6. Sorry to hear about the assault on you, Sophie. No one deserves such a treatment for being honest. That person should learn to stick their opinion where I’m thinking right now! 😉 Also, that bit about getting excluded by one of your kids made laugh hahahah 😛

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Laugh all that you want you, evil boy! LOL But it was still vexing. I feel like the old mom she is ashamed of now :-D)))))

  7. Ouch on getting banned/blocked from the kid’s Instagram account. I know it’s perfectly normal and natural for kids to want to pull away and assert some independence and start having a life away from the parents, but even so… ouch. 🙁 And the response of someone (or more than one someone) to a book review is crazy! It’s an OPINION. How can someone get so bent out of shape over an opinion?? You don’t have to like it or agree with it. Plus not everyone is going to feel the exact same way about a book… that would be crazy. So why get so upset because someone has a different opinion? Sometimes I just don’t understand people.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      I don’t understand them either Tanya!!!

  8. So very glad your dog is doing better!

    Boo to being attacked for your opinion. We live in a world where (except on Instagram) people can’t be bothered to filter! That’s too bad. I hope you are back on track now!

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      You are totally right Angie! And your comment about Instagram makes me wonder why people there are nicer???

  9. I can’t believe some attacked you for your opinion, Sophie! The nerve of them. I love that you are always honest in your reviews.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you Kayla!!!!

  10. What? Someone attacked you for your view on Credence? Omg some people need to get a life. Your review honest and respectful…….you have nothing to worry about.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you Caro!!!

  11. I’m sorry about your troubles on social media: unfortunately, the anonymity provided by the internet is the means for some people to vent the darker side of their personality without having to show their face. And probably some of them don’t even care about the subject matter, but just enjoy adding fuel to the fire and then looking from a distance as it flares out of control. You are totally right in wanting to keep expressing your opinions even when they differ from the majority of reviews: if all voices “sang” the same song, the book blogging community would a dull place indeed…

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      You are totally right Maddalena! And it’s in our differences that the world is such an interesting place! Thank you for your support.

  12. Sorry to hear you’ve had to deal with negativity both from your young relative on IG and from someone on FB. Don’t know what to say about the first but I read your review and thought it was well written and far from inflammatory.
    I’m glad you had a nice catch-up with your daughter’s Godmother, it’s always nice to spend time with friends. I hope next week is happier.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you so much for your support Flora!

  13. Aww, Sophie. I’m sorry that happened. The reality is that some people will always be trolls, and haven’t learned that they don’t need to express their feelings. Sometimes they have to learn to let it go. I’ve read reviews I deeply disagreed with, and I just close the blog and move on with my life. It sounds like handled it far more maturely than I would have. You are a tough lady. 🙂

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you for these kind words Wendy!

  14. I’m glad your dog is on the mend. And sorry about the backlash for your review. I thought it was a wonderful and fair opinion. Too bad some people take things too seriously.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you for your support Laura!

  15. Sorry you were attacked, Sophie. I’ve always found your reviews to be mindful, balanced, and respectful. Books don’t affect people in the same way – and they’re not meant to. If everyone was alike, what a boring world we’d live in. Good news about your dog. Have a great week!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      You are so right! If we all had the same tastes and were alike it would be boring Teri!

  16. Olivia-Savannah says: Reply

    I agree, when you have people going through the same experiences as you it can be so helpful to have a chat every now and again and support each other! Ah yes, I can see why it hurt. I let my family members follow me on social media, but my parents don’t know is that sometimes I hide my story from them when I am talking about particularly… steamy books 😛 Otherwise I don’t mind and I don’t do it too often, maybe thrice a year or something xD I also am glad most of the comments were supportive!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Ooooh naughty Olivia! Now you’ll have to explain to me how you can hide your story from some persons!

      1. Olivia-Savannah says: Reply

        Ask me on bookstagram DM and I’ll screenshot to show you!

  17. I remember how when I was in college I hid my blog/social media from my parents – now reading this I regret how much I might have hurt them, oops. But at least now if my own kids do it to me when they’re older, I’ll be a bit more prepared, lol! And I’m so sorry to hear about your problems with the social media attacks! I have been lucky I guess, in that I haven’t had many experiences where I have been attacked for having a negative opinion on a book, but I can tell you right now don’t sweat it! Some people just can’t seem to accept others have a different opinion than them, and it’s best to ignore them. Or, as I’ve done in the past, reply in a very cheerful manner “Hi, thank you SO much for your thoughts! After careful consideration of your comments I have gone back to my rating on this book and realized that…I don’t give a rat’s ass! Have a wonderful day!” and follow it up with a bunch of smiley faces…it drives them nuts, lol.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Bwahahahaha next time I’ll try your cheerful way Mogsy!

  18. Sorry about the social media problems. I’ve had people disagree with my reviews, but I’ve never had a nasty reaction to one. I hope you have a great week!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you so much AJ!

  19. So sorry to hear about the negative comments! Its always the worst when readers cannot agree to disagree on a book 🙁 However congrats on reading 6 book this week! yay! Spark looks quite intriguing… adding to tbr! Great post!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you so much Jamie!!!

  20. I so VERY MUCH appreciate your honest reviews – I have encountered too many bloggers who are not doing honest reviews and it is disappointing to me as a reader. Your review was very professional and did not attack the author personally in any way. I’m just a reader but I have been attacked in that way for expressing honest opinions of books and it is an awful feeling. I’m sorry you experienced that but please know you are my and many people’s favorite book reviewer/blogger!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      A HUGE thank you for your kind words Vicki!!!

  21. I’m so glad to hear that your dog is on the mend and that you got to spend some quality time with a friend. I’m sure my son is fast approaching the time when he won’t want me to see what he’s doing on social media, lol.

    Ugh, that really sucks about someone attacking you on facebook just because you expressed your opinion about a book. It’s one thing to disagree but I just don’t see the need to be so aggressive about it. Like Sam mentioned above, not every book is for every reader. I am glad to hear that the majority of the comments were good ones though.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Oh yes your son will grow up so quick!! Enjoy everything you can now Suzanne!

  22. I am so sorry to hear that you were treated so horribly for sharing an honest opinion. Unfortunately our society is so “sensitive” now a days, so as book bloggers who strive for honest opinions ,this happens But good to know you had great support. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for authors with all the hate I am sure all of them receive.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Exactly what I thought! Authors must have a really thick skin!

  23. Friends are so important to keep us grounded sometimes! Glad you had a nice lunch like that. and wow sorry to hear about the flak you got on Facebook. That’s tough and hard to deal with. I wish people would understand- reviews are opinions and if you don’t like ’em start your own blog haha. Seriously though, don’t let it get to ya. There’s always some I guess…

    I can understand how you feel about the social media thing. Even though we know our kids need to separate themselves from us a bit, or just be independent, it can be hard! After all we do haha. And I remember wanting to be independent like that too. It’s a different perspective now as the adult! One I don’t always like! 🙂

    Anyway hope you have a great week, and thanks for th quiz 🙂

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Greg it’s like having a taste of our medicine right? LOL And thank you so much for your support!

  24. I’m so happy you got to have such a wonderful lunch with your friend! Yay you for friend time, those moments always helps the heart. And sending you ALL the hugs for Facebook! Social media can be so cruel and I don’t understand why we can’t be kind to others even when they have a different opinion. I’m so sorry you were attacked, that’s a million times wrong. I’m sending you all the hugs and strength your way!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you SO MUCH jen!!!

  25. Wow, Sophie, I’m sorry this happened to you. We’re a society without filters anymore, unfortunately. People say and think whatever they want without considering how it may hurt someone else. I’m glad you accepted it so well- not sure I would have been so gracious {{hugs}}

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Well Jacquie maybe you’d have surprised yourself LOL

  26. You did a great post and, Sophie, as you said, were respectful of other readers opinions as well as the author herself, and in noway disrespected either. But there will always be those who cannot help their baser selves in that they have to be nasty. Hope you shrug it off and stay true to yourself.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you Alexandra! And yes I will shrug it off especially seeing all your support here and on FB!

  27. So sorry for the backlash on your review. I don’t think you could have possibly phrased it any differently—you came right out and said the book just wasn’t for you. That’s your right.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you Nicole!!!

  28. It’s too bad people had to be aggressive. We totally have a right to our own opinions as long as we are not mean about it I have left a few books unrated since they didn’t work for me. Those reviews are VERY hard to write and I try to state why I think it didn’t work for me. For example, I have trouble with stories about high school students sometimes since they can be very emotional and not always making good decisions and sometimes whiny, and I’d rather read about strong characters who are smart. This happens a bit more often with adults. There are some great books with younger folks who learn and grow, and those can be excellent.

    I hope this week is amazing! Happy reading!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you so much Anne! And yes these are the hardest reviews to write!

  29. so sorry for that negative attention you got after posting your honest (and yes, I read it, it was respectful) review, Sophie! hoping that’s the first and LAST time it happens to you.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you so much Micky (or is it Hollis commenting? );-))))))) And I also hope this will be the last time this happens to me!

      1. That was Hollis. But I agree wholeheartedly with what she said. Man, people can be brutal when you were so fair.

  30. it’s amazing how easy it is now a days for people to attack others for an opinion. I think it would be best to just keep doing you. I am at the age where I really don’t care what other people think, if you don’t like what i have to say *shrugs* I just don’t care. I know people have triggers and stuff but I can’t run my entire life on people being pissed off about my opinion on something as humans we are allowed to have them. This is just my opinion. 😉 lol

    I think you should just keep writing the reviews how yo feel about a book. Not everyone is going to agree and that is totally ok.

    I hope you have an awesome week Sophie! Happy Reading! xx

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you so so much!!!! And yes i’ll still write my honest reviews and will try to toughen my skin ;-))))

  31. You my friend are and always should be honest. Shame on people who have to attack a person for respectfully stating their opinion. Nobody has the right to “attack” a person for their beliefs. Just because they don’t match yours doesn’t give you the right to be nasty

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you so much Tracey!!! You words and all the people who either thanked me either tried to console me really warmed my heart!

  32. That’s unfortunate that people can’t respect an opinion of others. I thought it was a really helpful explanation! I think some people just like to argue on the internet. Its the only explanation for some of the behavior online. Glad the dog is doing better and I, too, would have been hurt if my child did that. Hopefully things get better!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you Samantha! And yes they are getting better, thanks to all your support!

  33. What an unpleasant reaction you had from social media! I haven’t had that happen, but as an Amazon reviewer, sometimes I get a bad “review” of one of mine from other reviewers. It is unpleasant…and yes, we must ignore these barbs.

    Enjoy your week, and hopefully all will be better.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you Laurel!!!

  34. I never understand the need for people to get nasty. Even in reviews, I see it get sort of personal and the reviewer attacks the author, calling their work trash. I get that you don’t like it, but that author worked hard. So I try to be respectful, even when negative. I am always worried about posting negative reviews on social media because I’ve seen some of the attacks. I’m sorry that happened to you.

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Exactly! Being respectful is key because authors work long hours on their books and that’s what I try to do in every review. But yes we all know that people can be rude on social media. Thank you <3

      1. You’re welcome. I know I’m sensitive, so I just try to think about others being that way when I’m online.

  35. Gayathri Lakshminarayanan says: Reply

    Ugh I hate these backlashes on social media over a review! I hope you are taking it easy. And for one, I liked your review and there was nothing offensive in it. Have a good one ahead!

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you so much for your support! I try to take it easy indeed because you’d think as an adult woman I should take this with a pinch of salt right? 😉

  36. My kids laughed at me when I was debating whether or not to start an IG account, apparently I’m too old. I’m only friends with my kids on Facebook because they don’t use it. They mostly just use Snapchat.
    Whatever platform it is, some people just seem to determined to take offense at anything.

    Wishing you a great reading week

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      How so you are too old to be on IG???? NEVER! LOL Honestly I don’t know what these kids think we are. Dinosaurs?

  37. Yeah! For lunch with a friend and the dog being on the mend. Boo! For kids, who cut us off. I remember finding out my daughter had two IG accounts, but I was only allowed to view one. And, lots of boos for people, who do not respect your right to your own opinion. If you are talking about the review you just posted (yesterday? day before?), you were honest, but respectful. Every book isn’t going to be for every reader. That’s reality. You don’t even own them any explanation. I am sorry that happened to you. ((HUGS))

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Wait Sam! Your daughter also kept you out of (one of) her IG account??? Is it evil if I say that I feel better now? Because I know that you are so close to your daughter so it gives me hope!!!! And yes it was yesterday’s review indeed.

      1. Yep. Denied access to the “friend” account. Kids.

  38. I’m sorry that that happened to you, Sophie! personally, I found nothing wrong with your review, and you have my utmost respect for being completely transparent about your opinion on it, while also recognizing that the book just wasn’t for you ❤️

    1. BewareOfTheReader says: Reply

      Thank you so much Caitlin! But as I said, I am lucky this happened only once in three years 😉

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